I've Got Hair?
by curry-llama
Summary: Saitama wakes up to find silky black hair on his head like it had never left. What will our favourite ex-bald hero do when he has something back that he thought he'd love but end up hating?
1. Chapter 1

I've Got Hair!...?

My sleep was ravaged by nightmares I didn't think I could face… how could the groceries cost so much! The eggs had been upped a few dozen yens and the bread was cut down to half its original quantity! What kind of monstrosity could possibly make something so cruel?

"Master!"

My eggs… how could I buy them now that they weren't even the right price?

"Master!"

With Genos staying at home the bread with no doubt run out in a day…

"MASTER!"

Genos… wait was I hearing Genos? Oh I'm asleep. Quickly I pulled myself up and turned to face my 'student'. If he weren't looking so frantic I wouldn't have been afraid. Had the nightmares come true? Did the groceries end up costing more?

"Master y-you-you…"

"Genos spit it out. You're beginning to scare me," I yelled in annoyance. There was a long silence that seemed to stretch for eternity. My insides churned and I felt fear. I hadn't felt so much fear in such a long time. It seemed like the world was going to end. I leaned in closer and watched his mouth open.

"Y-You…"

"Yes?"

"Y-You…"

.

.

.

"You have hair."

The world stopped for a second.

"Oh that's it?" I asked as all the fear dissolved leaving me in my previous blank state.

"What's with that reaction?! Sensei, aren't you at least a little curious as to why your hair grew back?" Genos asked me in a raised and baffled voice. I just shrugged. What did it matter if my hair grew back? It didn't matter what I looked like anyway. Instead of arguing I made my way to the toilet and brought out my Colgate toothpaste. I liked mint flavoured.

As I bought my favourite flavoured paste to my teeth I finally looked at my reflection. There it was… the face I had been used to for quite a while and then suddenly forgotten. It was like having hair completely changed every single aspect of my features. I should have shrugged it off. It was only hair after all… but I just couldn't. It just felt so… _wrong_.

I dropped my paste in disgust and ran to Genos. He instantly looked at me wide eyed and alert. He could see how serious I had become and I myself had to acknowledge the severity of this horrible situation.

"Genos we have a major problem. I sense something off," I stated seriously.

"Is there an enemy nearby? Can you sense high energy levels?" he asked.

"No Genos, it's even worse," I said gravely.

"What could be so bad that sensei's worried?" he asked standing up.

The moment stretched just as long as before except the twisted feeling in my gut was worse. Genos leaned in to hear what I was going to say.

.

.

.

"I have hair!"

 **Ha! Like my story? I always wondered how Saitama would react if he had hair. Don't know if this is how he would react but I sure hope it would be.** **I think his baldness is what makes him so damn awesome so I hope the creators never have him grow back his hair. Anyway have fun reading!**

 **Llama out~**


	2. Why hair why?

I've Got Hair!...?

 **Wow I didn't think people would even be bothered reading this... apparently not. Here's the next chapter. This is just meant to be funny and not meant to be taken seriously so if there are plot holes... just leave it. Anyway I'm going to tell you what I told my readers for my other stories. There won't be quick updates and this solely because I'm in senior year right now and three hours of study a day after school is what I'm doing. Fanfiction sadly does not have my priority in life right now which is sad because I'd rather be writing stories than essays. -_- I hate essays now... Anyway I hope you like this chap!**

"Master we have already established that!" Genos yelled at me in frustration.

"No you don't understand Genos! I've lost my very being! I've lost my identity!" I exclaimed as I pulled at my hair. It didn't seem to be coming out. I quickly ran back to my toilet and grabbed my razor. As I pulled it along the strands of hair it wouldn't budge. I realised something I had forgotten… my hair was one of the toughest things in this world. Nobody had ever been able to shave it. Cutting it had to be done with titanium scissors.

"Master, you don't seem to be able to shave it off."

"Thank you for stating the obvious Genos," I replied dryly, "This can't be happening," I continued whining.

"Maybe this isn't a bad thing," Genos mused.

"Isn't a bad thing? Tell me how this isn't a bad thing? I've lost myself!" I whined pulling at my hair.

Genos scanned my head with his eye and had a contemplative look on his face. I hoped he would have something to help me with. If not then maybe I could go seek help from his professor or Dr guy. As long as I went back to the way I was before it didn't really matter.

"Master have you considered that you have the ideal face?"

"Ideal face?" I asked.

"Yes, but all you truly need his hair to frame your face. I have observed that having an attractive appearance tends to put heroes in favourable positions," Genos explained.

I put on my most serious face as I looked at Genos with a sturdy gaze. "Genos, I am not a hero to gain anyone's favour. Remember this; the reason why I'm a hero is because I want to be."

Genos got to writing in his journal while I dazed out through the window and contemplated my very being. Could I ever go back to the way I was before? More importantly I felt like I was forgetting something… something very important.

.

.

.

There was a sale!

I jumped up and put on my hero costume before running out to go grocery shopping. After picking out everything I had wanted for the week I moved to the counter. Mr Hamato was giving me a weird look.

"What's wrong?"

"You must be that B class hero's first fan. He shops here quite often," the man said.

"First fan? Hey wait a second Hamato, I'm Saitama," I exclaimed pointing at myself in shock.

"Saitama, you can't be," he said waving me of. "Now get out of the line it's busy."

I looked behind me and saw nobody. I looked at the shop owner and irked in annoyance before leaving. He didn't give me a discount! He always gave me a discount! Was it because I looked different?

It was at that pivotal moment in my life that I realised that my baldness was everything.


	3. Lost identity

I've Got Hair!...?

 **Ok I can't believe I'm even writing something like this. If you go back and look at my stories they're all so serious… Humour isn't my thing but I hope you enjoy reading it and have some laughs because if you do then that's what makes it worth the while. And I'm sorry for the long wait. I didn't know people would even like this but due to public demand I have posted this chapter. I'll continue it but I can't say it'll last long.**

 **Oh did I forget to mention that I don't own OPM although I certainly wish I did XP**

"Where are we going sensei?"

"I'm going to the hairdresser of course! I missed out on a sale at mega-mini mart because I had hair! I can't live like this Genos!" I cried in pure agony.

Before Genos could respond I yanked his arm and dragged him out of the apartment. Of course Z city was demolished so I had a long way to go before I could find a hairdresser. Even running at the speed of light didn't seem to help my worries. This emotion of fear was something I had long forgotten.

"Sensei, I think we need to stop! You need to calm down!"

I stopped. Why had I stopped? Why was I shaking? Why did I have hair?

Kami had cursed me. I knew the gods hated me. First they took away the hair that I loved and then they gave it back. It was all a ploy to make me lose my identity.

"Sensei I think glaring daggers at the sky isn't going to accomplish anything," Genos sighed.

I looked at my pupil angrily. Did he not realise the severity of this situation? Did he not see that my hair was destroying my life? My thoughts wandered in worry.

"Sensei"

I didn't know what to do.

"Sensei!"

Would I have to make a new identity for myself in a different country?

"SENSEI!"

"What is it Genos!?" I growled back irritated.

Genos simply pointed behind me. I turned around to see… Puri Puri Prisoner. Why was he smiling like that?

"Hello cutie. Since when were you a hero darling?"

"Um, I'd have to say about a few years ago," I mumbled counting my fingers.

"Sensei"

"What is it?"

"Run!" Genos exclaimed as he grabbed my arm and sprinted away at an insane speed. Since when had my pupil become this fast? Is this feeling pride? Wait- I should be running to the barber, not away from it.

"Genos, let me go. The hairdresser is the other way," I snapped.

"And so is he!" Genos pointed. I looked at the large man making kissing sounds and cringed. Ok Genos had a point.

I guess, I'd have to cut my hair another day…

 **Ok that's it for today** **Hope you've enjoyed the story so far. It's kind of weird in my opinion and I just let it write itself but I hope it's funny. I like WTF moments. It makes my life.**


	4. New look

I've Got Hair!...?

 **Ok curry-llama here. I'll be writing from Genos's point of view this chapter. Watch and see in this episodes twists and turns as our favourite ex-bald superhero somehow manages to cope with the struggles of having hair!**

 **Disclaimer…**

 **I could only ever dream of owning hair or Saitama's super baldness. Sob I don't own One Punch Man**

I watched sensei relentlessly. How could he not realise that he was a danger to himself and the world around him? Maybe his hair was more trouble than it's worth.

"Genos," he yelped as he was being dragged away by a bunch of women.

"Sensei!" I acknowledged as I grabbed his outstretched hands and flew him to the top of the building. "This is of the outmost importance! Puri Puri Prisoner isn't far behind and you are attracting far too much attention from the female populace. We have to- sensei!"

I was cut from my thoughts when I noticed sensei was sulking in the corner. I walked over slowly not really comprehending the situation. Suddenly in inhuman speed he latched up and grabbed my shirt with tear stained cheeks!

"N-no more discounts!" he wailed.

.

.

.

There were a few times in my life when I just didn't know what to say… this was going to come up as one of them.

"Sensei, you have a muscled man, who is chasing after your affections, and the female populace is going out of control and you are worried about discounts?!"

"Genos it is not yet time for you to understand the extent to which I am suffering! It is better you leave me in the dirt to perish… without my 50% off udon!"

I watched my sensei act pitiful and was about to cry myself. Oh how the mighty has fallen. I could not bear to watch him suffer anymore. Suddenly something came to mind. I looked at my sobbing teacher and wondered if there was in fact a way out of this mess.

"Sensei, I might just have a way for you to get that 50% off next time," I said smiling as the hope in sensei's eyes resurfaced.

LINE BREAK!

"What does changing my clothes have to do with any of this?" I asked looking down at the black latex.

I watched as Genos pulled down a chart seemingly out of nowhere.

"You see women have a senseless taste for dark brooding men, with good looks, and most of all good hair. It's been proven in the many women's magazines I have read to understand their true nature. As seen in Women's timely, they spoke of me as a mystery hence wanting to know more about me and my personality. It is what draws them in. Like a fish to its bait if you want to put it that way-"

"Less than 20 words Genos!" I reminded growing irritated by the moment.

"To put it simply sensei, you can have discounts if you are popular"

"What does that have to do with women?"

I watched Genos shake his head like it was meant to be obvious. My mind wandered elsewhere. Maybe it was the impending thought that every time I walked to a store that I would never be allowed that customary 10% discount.

Suddenly a store worker came up to me with a bunch of outfits. I wondered why she was carrying them but since Genos seemed welcome of the gesture I said nothing. She also looked a bit sick…

"Are you alright? You're going red, you might have a fever," I pointed out.

"Ah! I'm completely fine sir! I-I was just wondering if you could try these on," she said quickly… too quickly. What was she trying to hide? Could she possibly be a monster in disguise? Oh well, I could deal with it when it happened.

I went into the room and changed.

~An hour later

"WE ARE NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!"

I looked at my sensei and sighed. He beat monsters even gods couldn't possibly hope to fight and yet he couldn't resist the glare of a female store worker. To be fair even I couldn't say no to that scary woman. After the sixth change of clothes it was getting more than a just bit dull. Still- we are making a bit of progress. I ended up buying sensei a navy blue shirt with a black jacket, and a matching pair of tight black jeans. Now it was it was the moment of truth.

"We're here," I said anxiously.

The looming sign of the corner store shone bright above us. I could vaguely see the look of anticipation and fear of failure cross sensei's eyes.

"I will get that discount!" sensei exclaimed, eyes focused, and face set in grim determination.

Yes it was truly the moment of truth

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 **Sorry for leaving it at a cliffy. Not the funniest chapter I have written but I'm hoping it'll add to the conclusion of the plot… which won't be too far away.**


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